The Tortoise

Stop worrying about the Hare in your life. Being the Tortoise may seem boring and may be slow; but it’s certainly steady.

Remember: Slow, but steady wins the race. And in this race, it’s your life, your definition of success, and your definition of winning.

So, stop focusing on how fast someone else is going because you will get to your destination just in time.

i tried to dance IT away

…..at last, the consequence of your past decisions come speeding at you like an uncontrollable force with the speed and likeness of your final semester and that dreaded 100 page thesis English course.

How?

Why?

What were you thinking?

You didn’t mean to…..cause any pain.

Painfully, trying to understand how to get rid of the guilt, pain, hurt…..and, so, you tried to dance it away, cry it away, work it away, talk it away, deny it away but eventually ended up losing yourself this way.

This as an interlude to healing, as we often talk about how we plan to outgrow people and the things around us, and yet there’s is so much to be said about outgrowing self. Outgrowing your work, your mistakes, your way of being. Letting go of what was and making space for what will be. Shedding the old and allowing space for the new.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong in making mistakes as long as you can forgive yourself, make the necessary steps to correct/never do such again, understand why you made the mistake, to begin with, and making a conscious effort to be better.

Stop trying to dance it away. Embrace, understand it, learn from it and grow. To all those in pain pull from it an opportunity to be reborn.

What doesn’t kill you certainly makes you stronger, right?

sorry if my thoughts seem to be all over the place…starting to get back into writing and I’m working on being more concise. I hope you understood my message.  

FANTASY IS NOT REALITY

It’s the first day of December and I thought this message was befitting.

Context is so important. The images or clips we see on Instagram, Facebook, or the inter-webs are just choices. Choices of what people choose to share. Now, that choice, can be open and honest, or it can be filled with lies and false packaging. Don’t be fooled. Don’t base your dreams, ideals or success on the images of others. Like I said yesterday, I love examples, it’s how I see and understand the world.

Example 1: Seeing a “happy” couple online and screaming goals but not knowing that very couple got into a fight the night before and this picture is reconciliation to the partner they harmed. Or maybe they aren’t happy and need to keep up with the joneses for their followers. Maybe they are happy but they have to work hard as hell, daily, to make sure they are happy or making conscious decisions to assure of not hurting the other person. Or maybe they are happy, completely and fully.

Example 2: A successful person business person. That person was broke because they gave up everything they had to follow suit on their dreams and they spent 4 years hearing the words no. They struggled, cried, broke down, almost gave up. Now because they’re posting pictures of their success and choose not to share their earlier or current struggles, it looks like they’ve had it easy and didn’t work for anything.

What I’m trying to get at, is yes, it might be nice to look at others and see the success, happiness, and or standards they’ve created for themselves. Just don’t base that around your wins, failures or successes. What you create, you don’t have to define or explain. It’s yours and will be different from the next person. You are unique. Live your happiness. Live your truth. Live your success. Live your love. Live your ideal. Start living, today, in this new month. #askadeola

REPAIR, SO IT’S NOT REPEATED.

Some days, I’m overwhelmed with many thoughts that I end up not sharing or saying anything. I’m working on it. Finding a focus each day, and sharing a piece of it with you is my new challenge. I love this outlet, simply because it allows me to be open, and I’m learning to be more vulnerable. It’s hard.

Anyway, while browsing and in my thoughts, I ran into this message. I muddled over it for a while and this is what I formulated from it. We seek comfort in what is familiar and predictable to us even if it means repeatedly doing things that are emotionally and physically damning to our fundamental beings. I’m an examples type of person. It helps me understand the world.

Example 1: Dating men or women who are just no good for you. You’re allowing yourself to fall prey to what ifs, well if I do this they will change. Well if I give them the opportunity they will change. Repair your mind. You’re worth more than you’re being given. You feel it, you know it, you can sense it deep down and yet you’re allowing yourself to be used sexually and or financially. The evil you know is better than the one you don’t. Wrong. Let that individual go from your life, or at least provide yourself ample space (this person can be family) and take care of self. Stop letting your insecurities and heart be preyed upon. You are worth more. You are worth love. You just have to know it for yourself.

Example 2: Yo-yo dieting. You’ll continue to fall into the trap of dieting and gaining, dieting and gaining because you’ve yet to repair your mind. Have you made the necessary lifestyle change? Are you working out consistently? Are you challenging yourself consistently. This is a lifestyle change and until you’re ready to make it…you’ll continue to repeat this pattern. (Trust me I know 😩).

Ultimately, I could go on and on, but you get my drift. Repair your mind. Repair your soul. Repair your heart. Take the time to understand yourself better. Take the time to understand your strengths and weakness and then accept them. Love them. They are what make you, you. And, don’t you dare let anyone or anything make you feel inadequate because of it. It’s a process. It takes time. Just repair.